Updates

So, what's new? I had received an email from that agency in New York, regarding Yancy's story about two weeks ago I believe. She passed, but said that she enjoyed reading it. I zoned out after that even though she had given me the title of a book that would probably help in my quest to find the right agent. I haven't gone back yet to re-read the email and explore her advice because I was disappointed. If she enjoyed it then... what's the problem? I guess the "enthusiasm" comes into play. She may have enjoyed it but didn't want to pursue a publisher because, why? She didn't think it would sell? It wasn't her genre? Though, when I did the research, I came across the agency because one of their genres was multi-cultural fiction. My disappointment had turned into disillusionment as it tends to do and I closed off and went away. I was still writing, still working on the vamp series. But I hadn't tried querying. I still haven't.


Yesterday, while waiting in the airport to board my plane, I was reading the current book for book club. I was just not into it. There was so much damn exposition in the beginning. Maybe it was supposed to be flashbacks but I just was not enjoying the writing. I remember liking her other book we had read. There had been parts of that one (Good in Bed) where I was like, "o...k..." but for the most part thought it was good. It may just be me though, since I'm self-proclaimed bitter. I wasn't so crabby back then. It made it easier to read.

I had just put this book away (instead of throwing it across the terminal like I wanted to do) and checked my phone. I saw that I had an email with the title "Re: Query -- REFUGE." I sighed, and started the skim, looking for the "unfortunately..." Instead, I saw "synopsis" and "first three chapters." Hang on! I went back and actually read the email. An agency in California was requesting material for Reggie's story. I had sent the e-query back in July. Admittedly, I haven't been as vigilant with my agent chart that I use to keep track of who I've queried, when, which novel, and whether I've heard back from them or not.

Tears had stung my eyes and I smiled. Then I groaned. Reggie's story is the novel that I had put on hold because I wanted to revisit the beginning. I thought that I had heard back from all the queries of that novel. Boo to me. So, on the plane, I re-read the first three chapters. Honestly, I would like to ask a professional's opinion on the beginning. I just sent off the chapters and synopsis. My fingers are permanently crippled from crossing them so much.

On another note, I have written out possible outlines for the fifth and sixth books in the vamp series.

Still Here

I'm still here. Just... on a break.

Jerkface

There's a teacher at the school where I work, who has always said hello to me, and I admit it, I've been short with him. He usually has that come-on type of grin and I'm not interested. Well, I guess he found the courage or what-have-you to engage me in conversation (of course it was an inopportune time at the beginning of the day when I'm trying to get everyone situated).

He asked me if I was a writer, which I thought was strange because I hadn't been telling too many people about my aspirations. He told me that he was also a writer, with a novel he had been trying to sell to publishers. So, I told him a little bit about my trials and tribulations with seeking out an agent. He asked about the genres I write in. He wasn't too keen on the vampire stuff, wondering what exactly the appeal is. I just shrugged, and explained that I've always had a love for supernatural stories. We were interrupted (for like the fourth time. He was persistent, this one) but I could tell he wanted to say more in dissention. At one point, he asked me what I was going to do when this doesn't work out, emphasis on the when. I gaped at him. "Do I sound discouraging?" he asked. By then, my surprised stare had turned to anger. What the hell, man? Like I really needed that first thing in the morning. Just because it's not working out for you doesn't mean you have to stomp on my dream. I know I teeter back and forth, feeling discouraged by the rejections, but I don't need any outside help with feeling depressed, thank you very much.

That was Friday. Today, he said hello but it's back to the casual nods and terse good mornings for that asshole.

Still waiting. I need to call about one; it's been a while since I've heard from her and she's had my manuscript since the spring.

Ouch

I went home on my break today and saw that I had mail. Two rejections; one from the last batch I sent out about the Yancy novel, the other from an agent I queried over the summer. His note was pretty, with the agency's logo across the top. He apologized for the form response, then said that he reviewed my material and found that it was not anything that he wishes to work with at this time.

Ouch.

Now, I have a relative thick-skinned approach for this process. You have to or you'd give up after the second try. As you may or may not know, I've thought about giving up plenty of times. I've even gone on "breaks," from querying and from writing all together. I'm really trying to not let this one little note card get to me but after reading it, I had to sit. I usually skim rejection letters, looking for the "unfortunately"s and "pass"s and "good luck in your search"s. But I read this one. And I'm regretting it. I'm obviously not the only who has or will receive this note card. And I feel bad for those poor fools, too.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for these very busy agents to coddle me in the least. I know they can't write constructive criticism for every letter or chapters they receive. That would be crazy and they'd never get anything else done. But that was just really damn harsh. I understand the process; that doesn't mean it won't sting.

Oh Man

So, I'm sitting here, reading the very first novel I've ever completed and, boy.... It needs work. I have to chuckle. It's not necessarily the plot line, but the prose. This story idea was given to me by a high school friend named Jenn about a blind date mix-up. The story evolved from there. It's basically about a group of friends dealing with life while attending Northeastern. There's sex, arguments, singing, even a stalker! Lol. I'll revamp it at some point.

I had a talk with Ashleigh about copyrighting. She's a lawyer so she thinks about those kinds of things. I started researching the process (and the costs) but my work computer was acting up so I couldn't go into it as much as I wanted. It's a little steep ($35) so I'll probably do them maybe two at a time. She was concerned about protecting myself and my work, with which I agree. It hadn't even occurred to me to copyright my stories. I've just been focused on writing and editing and finding an agent who'll be enthusiastic about selling my work (that's the word many of the agents use in their rejection letters, "enthusiastic" ::rolls eyes::).

Some Answers

I received two emails about my queries. One was a pass on Yancy, the other a no on the vamp novel. I'm going to need to redo the query. I know I do. I'm just being lazy at the moment.

Yesterday, I sat at my desk and wrote out a list of the novels I have. They're all in various stages of completion. Six of them I classified as "having an ending." Meaning, I can't say that they are complete just yet. But, then again, even if--when--I get published, you'll probably still catch me making corrections, writing in the margins. The rest of the long list are stories I started but haven't continued, either because I started another project, got sidetracked by school, or lost focus on where I wanted the story to go but haven't yet gone back to re-exam it. I also have a screenplay I was thinking of converting to novel-form (that one doesn't "have an ending"). Jake Gyllenhaal was the image in my mind for one of the main characters because, well, I love him.

I was a little surprised that I had so many. I feel that I've finally learned the discipline to finish, especially seeing as how five of those six "ended" novels I wrote in the past three years. So, now to get myself back to that place when I started them in order to finish them......

Yeah, like I have time.

:)

I had a request to review my manuscript, from an agency in New York. Fingers crossed. It's the Yancy novel. I can't believe I started that nearly three years ago. I was up late last night, preparing it to submit. I had needed to revamp the synopsis. It had been a while since I'd looked at that one, and it showed. I think that was the first synopsis I had ever written. It was five pages long and had too many unnecessary descriptions. I was happier with it when I finished editing. It was still a bit long but the novel's long.

I'm still currently working on the fourth novel in the vampire series. My college friend, Ashleigh, got back to me last night and said she liked the first book. :) Another encouragment that I gladly accepted. I had complained to my friend Laura about how I'm such a bitter reader now. I read all the time (ask anyone), which spurs me on to keep searching for the agent who'll take me on. Hopefully sooner than later, I'll stop being so bitter, lol.

I chuckled last night because it had been a little while since I had read Yancy's story. I found little snippets I had put in and didn't remember. And then I reminded myself I still need to revisit Reggie's story...

It is a bit energizing to have a request. From that last round of e-queries, I had received a no already. I'm still waiting to hear from the third. Perhaps Thursday, when I have the evening off, I'll get those two snail mail queries sent out. I forgot about those.

Submissions

Trying again. I've sent four e-queries, and I have two others to prepare through snail mail.

I thought I should write something; I've been neglecting my so-called blog.

Taking a Break

Well, I'm feeling disappointed this morning. Just received an email from Drum Magazine about my submissions that they are passing on. The editor said that there was an echo of an Elvis Costello song in "I'm So Happy" and it was strange that it was never explained or incorporated into the story. Well, because I don't know what the hell song that is. I wrote that story in high school, updated it slightly in college. I don't even think I know any Elvis Costello songs, and the only reason I even know the name was because of an episode of "Will & Grace" when they went to his concert with these two people who they were trying to replace Ellen and Rob with. I remember Grace's outfit vividly: red and leather. Soooo....

Oh well. So, apparently people aren't "getting" me. That means I need to focus more or some shit but the thought "I give up" did cross my mind.

Goals

I heard from an agency in New York, another rejection. That leaves six.

Goals this week:
- Keep writing
- Work on some short stories
- Get another round of query letters out there
- Look into self-publishing

Writing

The other day at work, I pulled out my notebook and began writing a short piece. I had been thinking about what the editor from Boston Lit Mag had said about my stories not having the twist ending they were looking for. So, I've given myself the challenge of wowing that woman. Hopefully I'll be able to submit something soon. I really want to give it another go but I also don't want to rush it. Another one of my vices...

I'm also battling a small bout of Writer's Block right now with the fourth novel. I just hope the story's not dragging. I've started re-reading what I've written so far but I'm only about five pages in. I let a friend read the first novel in this series (vamps), just waiting to hear what she has to say. I'm of course questioning myself but I'm keeping it to a minimum and trying this whole 'patiently waiting' business I've heard of. I guess that's why I haven't ripped my hair out yet over not hearing from those agents yet. I might send out a few this weekend when I get paid. Hopefully some of them aren't on hiatus.

Blocked

It's still radio silence from the last round of query letters. I'm debating on whether to send out more or wait. And on top of that I seem to be dealing with a bout of writer's block. I don't know where to take this novel (the fourth book in the vampire series). I'm reading through what I've already written and will try again. If I'm still stuck, I'll probably have to move on to one of the other projects. I still need to re-work the beginning of the Reggie book. And my Yancy one could probably use another read-through. Bleh.

Still no news...

Yesterday, I got one of my letters back, Return to Sender. It was an agency in Beverly Hills (I kept chuckling as I was addressing it -- 90210. People actually live there!). I haven't heard anything from anyone else yet. Still twiddling my thumbs.

Impatient, much?

I don't know why I'm being so impatient. So, I sent off a round of query letters last week to prospective agents but I've only heard from one. I know it takes time and this is their busiest season, but I've been bouncing my foot all week. I think it's because before it wasn't as big of a deal to wait, because I had a job. But right now, it just feels so... important. They have all the 'hand' in this situation. Boo.

I finished re-reading the first novel, made some changes and so on. Now, I'm re-reading the sequel. I know I need to look at the Reggie novel (the one about a girl who witnesses a murder) but one of my problems is when I try to do too much at once. I haven't even touched my very first completed novel, about a girl living in the Heath Street projects who's trying to protect her family. (Technically, that's not my first completed novel. I wrote one in high school, that I didn't finish until I was in college. The main premise was a blind date mix-up, but it was about a group of college friends. My friend Jenn had given me the idea and I named one of the characters after her. I remember trying to re-read that years after I had finished it and laughing. Man, it needs work. I started a sequel of that one, too) I should say my second novel was the first I tried querying. It's hard. I don't think many agents are keen on picking up... we'll call it urban fiction. I don't think they think it'll sell. Which may or may not be true. I read what sounds good, whether the characters are black, white, or wizards. But they have to think about marketing and I think the general consensus is that black people do not read. It'll be tough going for me if that is in fact the case, since my main characters always tend to be young, black females. I can't help it. I'm a young, black female. And I usually picture myself doing the actions. Boo, again.

Editing

I didn't turn my computer on all weekend, not on purpose, mind you. I was a working fool. But I did manage to work out a flow of events for the fourth book, which I'm currently writing, in the vampire series. It's coming along slowly. At work, I'm re-reading the first novel of the series. It boggles me. I enjoy the story. Why not others? I'm sure there are plenty of people who enjoy the books I read, of which at least this series is in the same vein. Maybe I'm too close to it, I tell myself. I just don't get it and I'm really not enjoying this process, especially at this point in my life. But I keep on writing anyways.

I received one rejection this weekend, from an agency in New Jersey, I think it was. I'm waiting to hear back from at least half of the nine or so agents I queried these past few days, before sending out another round.

Mornin'

It's early and I've already started. I've prepared three query letters that I'm sending off today (along with my Codman Square co-pay). Two to agencies in New York and one in California. They all have interests in science fiction, so I'm writing them about my vampire novel, which is about a girl who's dating a vampire who is threatened when a sexy hunter from Dallas comes to town. Here's hoping.

I was going to submit my other novel as well, but after having my friend read it, she confirmed that I needed to rework the beginning. As I had thought, it's a little rushed. I had had a different beginning before, but, after a brief meeting with an editor during Grub Street's Manuscript Mart last year, had decided to go a different route in order to get us right into the action, right into the suspense. My problem is that the story is about Reggie, the main character who witnesses a murder, so I either need to take out the parts that go into the killer's POV or revamp them so that we get more of a sense of him. Which of course puts a halt on querying the novel until I figure this shit out.

I'm also re-reading the vampire novel. It's been a while since I've worked on it. I had started it last summer. It's interesting revisting the characters from way back then. The reason it seems so long ago is that I've already started the fourth novel in the series. I've been very busy this year, writing-wise. :)

Revigorated.... I think

I will not let this get me down. I had a brief moment to grumble and curse, now it's time to get back on the horse. I've started another round of queries, sending out three through email already, and compiling a list to snail mail. I think I need more stamps.

More 'no's

So they said no over at Boston Lit, because there were no twist endings. Obviously, I had the wrong idea based on the fact that I didn't really get "twists" from some of the pieces I read before submitting. Oh, well. I'll keep it at that publicly.

I also got a no from an agency in New York for my vampire novel, so I'm really gritting my teeth this morning. I'm trying not to become discouraged though it's so easy to get that way.

"The Fox" and "Playtime"

I submitted these to the Boston Literary Magazine for their Quick Fiction section (250 words or less). Cross your fingers.

The Fox

You lay there, the early morning rays of sun catching in your hair, your eyes closed, serenity softening your features, and I think what a shame it all is. You have so much potential, but you’re hot-headed. Their words, not mine, after you botched the Collins job. By now, the poison should have worked its way through your respiratory system, clutching at your lungs with its sinewy fingers. You had no thoughts of deceit when I handed you the glass of merlot. You didn’t feel it make its furtive way into your bloodstream as we danced. All you saw was me when we removed our clothes. You stared into my eyes like you loved me, never suspecting a thing.

I guess that’s why they call me The Fox.

----

Playtime

I knew where he kept them—a shoebox tucked in the back corner of his closet. As soon as the car backed out of the driveway and disappeared around the corner, I rushed into my parents’ room. I pushed the clothes aside and carried the old Fila box to my room, locking the door behind me.

Familiar excitement crept along my spine. I opened the lid and pulled out the first magazine.

It was well-worn, the binding nearly non-existent after years of thumbing through, by my father and by me. I didn’t care. This one was my favorite. The woman, with her strawberry blonde hair and breasts set high on her chest, smirked seductively at me. I placed a hand on my own breast, small and round. I just got them last summer but they weren’t as ample as anyone would like. Jessie’s breasts were big like cantaloupes. The boys always stared.

“Don’t worry, Donna,” my mother would say. “Yours are perfect for you.”

I would slink away, not comforted in the least.

As my eyes grazed the naked women in the magazine, I became increasingly mesmerized. This was what men found attractive. Thin waists, blonde hair, shaved privates. My hair was brown, and I knew nothing about shaving, but I still stared, studying.

After a few more moments, I placed the magazines back in the box, and returned it to its hiding spot beside my father’s sneakers. Our shared secret. My mother would have a fit if she knew.

Welcome

So, here's my very first post. Stay tuned for more lovliness to come.